Is your life littered with a pile of unanswered prayers that you have tried to push under the carpet so the pain of them becomes somewhat manageable? Where is God when you're crying out to Him in desperate need? Who is God in the midst of the turmoil of your life and the lives of those you love?
Any attempt to address unanswered prayers can so easily sink into the facile, to the blame shift: “You didn't have enough faith.” “You weren't asking for the right thing or using the right words.” “You have unconfessed sin in your life.” I'm sure you've heard them all.
We are sitting in the middle of Jesus’ sermon on the mount; He is opening to us the way of life that leads to blessing; He is giving us this picture of a Father who loves us.
Today we are looking at a familiar passage that we tend to call “ask, seek, knock.” I think we have tended to make it an invitation to prayer; I am wondering if there is a different way to look at these words. Jesus had already addressed prayer fully in the previous chapter, including His pattern prayer. In the context here, these words come after His discourse on how to interact with others. The invitation here is to be open to a new perspective.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone, or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you then, though you're evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him.” Matthew 7:7-11
Jesus might have said, “If your child asks you for candy, will you give her broccoli?” Well, you might if that were my 4-year-old granddaughter who loves to wander around munching on a stalk of broccoli!
Or “If your child asks for ice cream for dinner, your answer would probably be no.” (Even if you'd rather eat ice cream yourself instead of vegetables!)
I wonder if Jesus’ bringing human parenting into this story is not deeper and more profound than we have realized. I think there is huge value in thinking about how we are as parents, as we think about how we approach God with our needs.
Think of the teenage son who comes asking to “borrow” $20 or the family car. Is he suddenly the “good” child, promising all sorts of things if you will only say yes? Is he trying to manipulate you, guilt you? Is his “need” real? Or your child brings home an issue from school, maybe complaining about how a teacher or a fellow student is treating him. Do we rush to his rescue, or do we seek more information before deciding how to tackle the issue?
What are we asking for?
This raises the question of what we're asking for. Jesus, in so many other passages, promises that we'll get whatever we ask in prayer “I will do whatever you ask in My name, so the Son may bring glory to the Father” John 14:13
I wonder then why so often we do not get what we are asking for?
The invitation here is to look again at our understanding of Who God is: a good Father Who He knows us fully, and Who He loves us fully. Often He knows what we need, even when we don't really know what that is.
It is interesting to note that Jesus's words here about “ask, seek, knock” follow his admonition about how to interact with other people. Do we know how to act in each situation? Is what we need really wisdom? In fact, in Luke’s gospel, the verse “ask, seek, knock,” is followed by the promise that our Father would give the Holy Spirit to those who ask. We need wisdom to know how to navigate our relationships with others; what do we do in a particular situation requires wisdom. Do we need to seek restoration, establish boundaries, or practice forgiveness?
Asking for wisdom shapes us into becoming generous, humble people. As you become the kind of person who is asking for wisdom constantly, wise actions begin to happen more naturally.
Remember prayer is not a transaction, but a connection and an invitation into communion with your Father. Was that unanswered prayer actually a moment when Jesus was inviting you into a deeper dependence on God?
James in his practical, pragmatic way states quite clearly two things about asking: firstly, if we lack wisdom, we should ask God who gives generously. (James 1: 5) and secondly, if, when we ask, we don't receive, it is because we ask with wrong motives to spend it on our own pleasures. (James 4:3)
And we could sit for a long time meditating on James’ definition of wisdom:
“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
The wisdom that comes from heaven is fits of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of good fruit, impartial and sincere.” (James 3:13,17)
And Jesus, in the Lord’s prayer, gives us three things to ask for: daily bread, forgiveness, and not to be led into temptation! Are these the center of your prayers?
What are we seeking?
What about seeking? The invitation to seek takes us back to earlier in the sermon where Jesus instructs us to “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness.” I don’t know about you, but I wonder what it really means to seek His Kingdom. The only other references to seeking in the gospels is in many of Jesus’ parables about the Kingdom that focus on searching for what was lost and then the rejoicing when it is found. Is seeking about looking for something because you’re not sure what you need? All of which lead us back to the thoughts on wisdom. Is the focus of our seeking meant to be God Himself? If so, the promise here is that we will find Him!
A well-known Old Testament passage found in Jeremiah 29:13 affirms this:
“You will seek Me, and you will find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”
That reminds me of the great commandments: to love God with all our heart, all our soul, and all our strength, and our neighbor as ourselves. Our response to those surely takes wisdom!!!
Why are we knocking?
Finally, there is knocking. I recently went to my neighbor’s house to drop off something. I knocked on her door, and then I waited, wondering if she was home and would answer. With God, there is no wondering; the promise is sure—if you knock, He will open the door! There is no question.
The only other reference to knocking in the New Testament is in the book of Revelation. There it is Jesus who is knocking, and there is wondering as to whether we will open the door.
In summary:
The invitation to ask, seek and knock is an invitation into the heart of God, to know that you are fully loved, to know that He understands your needs better than you do yourself, to know that He is for you in ways that go beyond your present understanding. I think we will always have questions about the prayers we pray that do not seem to be answered in the way we think would be right or best for the people involved. I think our questions don’t bother God. In fact, I think there is always an invitation from Him to come and wrestle with Him about what has happened.
God does not always answer as we expect. The Israelites expected a warrior King to rescue them from oppression; God sent a baby in a manger.
The disciples wanted to see their Master restore the Kingdom to Israel; He died on a cross.
It has been said that the worst thing that could happen—the death of God—led to the best thing—the salvation of the world.
God is inviting you to trust Him and to grow in your understanding of Who He wants to be for you.
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