I wonder how many of us are aware as we go about our daily lives that we are in a battle, that the spiritual world around us is very real?
When you accepted Jesus as your savior, you became a citizen of the Kingdom of Heaven with all its benefits. We spent much of last year here on this Fermata blog exploring the reality of being a Kingdom subject—of what being blessed looked like according to the King. We pray the prayer Jesus taught us: “Your Kingdom come; your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Do we live in the daily reality of what this means?
Dom pointed out the difference between the two kingdoms: the Kingdom of God is righteousness, peace, and joy, while the kingdom of darkness is deception, chaos, and destruction. Paul, in talking to the new believers, often pointed out the contrast of their lives before and after conversion. The kingdom of darkness is characterized by “sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires, and greed…anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language.” (Colossians 3: 5,7)
I wonder if, at the moment of your conversion, you were very aware of turning your back on the kingdom of darkness and all it contains. And I wonder if, in your life now, you are still aware of the areas where your choices don’t live up to Kingdom values? Are you aware of the battle, of the reality that we can move offensively against the kingdom of darkness?
What would our engaging in that battle look like?
I realize that I am not usually conscious of being in a battle. And yet, last week I found myself in a situation that, in retrospect, pointed to the possibility of enemy interference.
Let me share with you the poem I wrote:
Where do I go when discouragement threatens to overwhelm me?
When I feel abandoned by those I am looking to for help?
When my husband moves into fix-it mode, and I feel criticized in both my words and who I am. When I rant and rave and turn even against You who they say loves me more that life?
Then, when I come to my senses and ask forgiveness and reconcile with my husband,
I still feel unable to really face You, to allow Your gaze of love to fall on my face,
to open the window of my soul and invite You in to wander through my dirty rooms.
Would my choice be to wallow, to stay in darkness and self-contempt,
to punish myself to somehow win favor with You again?
Or will I choose to run to You, to grace upon grace, mercy upon mercy, compassion and kindness, to allow You to forgive me?
Because, if I don’t, I am saying that I don’t trust You, I don’t believe You are who You say You are, that somehow I have to save myself from myself and my self-judgement.
Can I come, Your sad, repentant child; can I lift my eyes to Your gaze and see only love.
Can I forgive myself and acknowledge that I need You, I want You, I love You; that You are my cave to hide in, my cliff to climb?
And that You with willing open arms will receive me, will hold me,
and will rejoice over me with singing.
I take a deep breath. I open my eyes to Your gaze.
I see only compassion, forgiveness and hesed love.
Thank You.
I lost a day of my one precious life, as I sought to recover from a sleepless night of agonizing over what had happened. Reconciliation with my husband was the easy part; forgiving myself and allowing God to love me again was the challenge.
Whose was the battle here? My checking out of my world that day impacted others; like the ripples that move out, out, in ever-widening circles when a drop hits the water, my choice not to forgive myself played right into enemy territory.
How much do we need to understand about this enemy and his tactics?
Here's a place to start: be alert to the stories you are telling yourself. Is there a hint of a malicious voice, suggesting, as he did to Eve, “Did God really say…?” to me, “Do they really care…?”
Awake. Aware. Alert. At any moment a negative emotion threatens to overwhelm you, can you pause to turn to God and examine what is happening? James admonishes us to “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. (James 4:7)
So, how do we intentionally engage in this battle?
Paul gave us the invitation to put on the armor of God when writing to the Christians at Ephesus.
As we looked at this armor, Dom and I realized there is no provision for what goes on first, under the armor. This is where I will begin. What is the invitation?
“Let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 13:12, 14)
The armor of light. Does that remind you of Jesus’ words: “You are the light of the world.” And what characterizes that light?
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another…and above all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:12-14)
It sounds as if this is a deliberate act: put on, clothe yourself.
How about making this a morning practice; as you get dressed physically, mentally tune into God and accept His presence and the Holy Spirit’s desire to bring fruit into your life today.
Then, during the day, as you become aware of speaking an unkind word or having a judgmental thought, you can turn quickly back to God, ask His forgiveness and move on, not allowing the devil a chance to get a foothold in your own self-judgment.
Instead of, “There you go again, Wendy!”, a gentle, rueful “Oh, Wendy”—which usually turns into a laugh. Be kind to yourself as well as to others. This is the heart of God for you.
So, get dressed, and walk into your day with courage and intentionality.
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