Does becoming what you were made for sound inviting, intimidating, or impossible? Do you want God’s transforming presence in your life, yet wonder how it can happen? Does it seem as if the moment you choose to say “yes” to God, life intervenes with a challenge!
I'm sitting in my favorite chair, staring unseeingly at the skylight above me, and struggling with discouragement. Sure, it is winter. The sun is not shining. It's too cold to go outside and take a walk or do some yard work. What am I to do with an afternoon that stretches ahead of me with things on my “To Do” list that somehow aren't motivating me? I spent the morning researching the various facets of publishing a book; it all seems so complicated, and I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Have you ever been here? Your emotions crowd in and overwhelm you. Anger rises. Fear cripples. Sadness moves in. Disappointment with yourself threatens to bury you. Life is full of experiences when our emotions threaten to pull us down. What is your response during these times? Do you see these as opportunities to turn to God?
An Invitation
Dom talked of orthodoxy, the renewing of your mind. What is the truth here? Orthopathy followed, the reordering of your heart. How then do I reorder my heart in this moment when my emotions are pulling me under?
And then orthopraxy, living the life of Christ. What does it mean to live my life in You, LORD?
At our church, we have been studying Psalm 42: “Why are you downcast, oh my soul? Hope in God…” That sounds to me like a Nike slogan: “Downcast? Just stop it!” Is it really that simple? No! It takes the discipline of turning to God, of saying yes to His invitation.
How does this look for me now, amidst my discouragement?
I begin by speaking the truth: I know I am loved; I am chosen; I am made in the image of God with unique gifts I have to offer to the world. I say, I believe You, LORD, have inspired me to put words on paper to produce this portfolio of poems. I believe You are encouraging me to publish them as a book, as an invitation to others to see You differently and hopefully to respond to moments like this with hope and eventually joy.
How then do I reorder my heart? Which Spiritual Practice can I choose to help me now with this feeling of discouragement? I decided to try welcoming the emotion. This may sound counterproductive to you. Aren’t we supposed to deny those negative feelings, push them away, and pretend they are not real? Do you choose to get busy, to distract yourself by quickly picking up the “to do” list to become productive? I have found that doesn’t work too well. The feeling is still there, waiting to rear its head again. For me, acknowledging the feeling and welcoming it allows me to look honestly at what is going on. So, I say: “Welcome, discouragement-- let's chat. What do you need?”
My mind goes to my friend Jenell enthusiastically accepting the challenge to organize my poems. I think of many friends who have read my poems and being touched in some deep part in their life --so much so that I joke that my ministry is to make people cry.
A Possibility
As the memories crowd in, I think of how often God, in the stories we read in the Old Testament, encouraged people to build an altar, to be a place of remembrance of the miracle of that time or to give a new name to a place, a name that will always awaken the memory of God's presence and power.
Do I need an altar, LORD—a pile of stones with all the truths of Who You say You are for me? My mind flashes back to when I decided to write an alphabet book with every noun, verb and adjective I found the Psalmists using to describe God—it was incredible! As a side thought, I really encourage you to read the Psalms regularly; you will find both praise and lament. The way David knew God is brilliant, and his words have opened my eyes to aspects of God I would never have known on my own.
Or do I need a way to record the names of my friends who are encouraging me? Could I make a bracelet of stones with their names? Could I draw a picture or make a model that I can gaze at when I feel overwhelmed by my journey? I am thinking of a collage of hearts or of flowers or of…
Do you need to create a way to remind you of all that God has promised you and Who He has been for you in the past, and Who He is right now? What would that look like for you? A place for you to gaze in those times of distress—a reminder of who you are, both in Christ and also in your world.
Another Facet
Do we also need to consider the one who placed temptation before Jesus, and even quoted Scripture to Him? Jesus called him the prince of this world. (John 12:31, 14:30; 16:11). John called him “that ancient serpent called the devil or Satan who leads the whole world away.” (Revelation 12:9) Right from the beginning of humanity, the enemy of God was at work. Read his question to Eve: “Did God really say…?” and consider how often those words have echoed in your head.
I wonder if in our American culture, we have tended to either downplay the reality of Satan or to overreact by finding a demon under every bush. Paul warns us “not to give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:27) and “not to fall into the devil’s trap” (1 Timothy 3:6). Peter adds that “the devil prowls as a roaring lion seeking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) I thought Jesus was the lion? Oh, yes, Satan at times appears as an angel of light.
Did my feeling of discouragement come from the enemy? Possibly. How do we know it is God, or it is Satan? The Spirit comes with a gentle invitation, a conviction that something is not as it should be. The enemy brings you into condemnation, telling you that you as a person are wrong. The former is the Spirit bringing the grace and courage for you to turn to God; the latter drags you deeper into despair that often ends with your giving up.
My response to feeling discouraged was to say yes to God, to tell myself the truth about Who He is for me, and in doing so to find a different way of coping with my feeling. From this came life; I found myself lifted out of my despondency and ready to continue the journey God has me on!
A Response
God is calling you to a transformed life, to becoming who He designed you to be. This is a journey; not a one-minute decision, but moment by moment you can respond to the challenges and joys of life in your everyday world.
The wonder is that God is with you, God is for you, God’s love covers you, His presence sustains you.
Make reading Scripture a daily practice.
Build an altar in whatever medium makes sense to you and put it somewhere you can see it often.
Practice telling yourself the truth of who you are in Christ.
Accept those parts of you that you hide from and recognize they are places of invitation from God who loves you more than you could ever imagine!
Say “yes” to life today.
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